the rambling atl

these past few months have been extremely busy. i’m in my last semester of undergrad and at this point, i’m just scrambling to finish everything on time. i got hit with mono in february so i was out for a 2 weeks and that really set me back. in addition to that though, my senior slide is at an all time high. i’ve been trying very hard to manage everything and i am, i just put everything off to the very last minute which always isn’t the best of ideas.

clinical’s been tough. i had a very difficult day preceptor who has a very intense personality. i’ve never felt so belittled in my life and was always so anxious when it came to working days with her. good news though is that i won’t have to work with her any longer. andra, a mankato clinical instructor contacted the clinical education specialist and she emailed me to ask me to share with her what my experience has been like with sarah and hell, i told her exactly what it’s been like. so they are currently in the process of looking for a new preceptor. i’m excited yet concerned about one, seeing sarah again on the unit and two, my schedule not being able to work out… but i dunno, i’m having a pretty decent feeling about this. i don’t think i’d be a horrible nurse, i just need more practice and a better role model. 

as for my personal life, mike is great. we always manage to have a good time. we are complete opposites and it generally works out. although today, i don’t know if it was because i was on my period or what but we were getting a redbox and we realized our preference of genres don’t match quite well like our music interests. but hey you know what, that’s what keeps things interesting =] one thing that still kinda bothers me is that he’s so bad at texting and calling. i guess it’s just something i’m going to have to get used to… D=

as for sip, the future doesn’t look too fuzzy at this point. the board’s been recruiting people who we think could potentially benefit or who’s values align with SIP and i think it’s working. we’ve got about six people already interested! and just yesterday, i talked to christina about running for us and i think she may be interested in running for prez and if she does, i’m stoked! because she’s passionate and i really think should could bring sip to another level and carry it through. it would be such a waste to see sip die out because i honestly think the organization could benefit so many students. so i’m realllllly excited. i’m just honestly hoping for the best at this point. keep your fingers crossed for us!

We got back from Chicago last night at 2am. It was definitely one of the best trips I’ve taken and I have to admit, it beat last year’s spring break by far. Not just the company was better but of course our itinerary was too because there was so much more to do in the city. 

The trip made me realize how much I care about Mike, so last night it just felt right to say the L word. 

life has thrown me plenty of curve balls; all of which i’ve received regardless. it seems to be a pattern that God offers me a taste of things I once said I never wanted. and to my surprise, a lot of these experiences come and go as pleasant surprises. 

i guess i’m referring to things like, my ex-boyfriend. said i’d never date anyone younger than me but what do you know. or like this next potential, came as a complete surprise. 

my friends and i have pondered this plenty of times and we’ve come to the conclusion that God presents to us what we think we despise to prove us otherwise. i find it genius because it’s like just when we think we know our wants and our preferences, the force says, “ohhhhp! think again.”

Sometimes I look at my past and I honestly wonder how the hell I ever turned out okay. My only answer I can come up with is God’s raining Amazing Grace. 

I used to hate talking about my early childhood because I was embarrassed at how awful it was. My parents were constantly working and my brother seemed to think I was unworthy of his precious time and therefore never played with me… ever. So essentially, I spent most of my early school-age years playing in solace. 

But something that I can recall growing up was constant bickering between my parents. I always thought it was normal for parents to fight so I never thought twice. It wasn’t until I was getting older and friends and family would comment about their outrageous verbal arguments that I finally took notice. 

It’s recently hit me that my parents were never in love and never will be. They’ll never be happy together and honestly I really don’t think they’re even compatible to be friends. I never considered myself to be at risk for divorced parents but as of today, I would be fine with a divorce. 

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